Worrying about being judged.

I think it's time to stop and think for a minute.

You know what I am totally sick of? Spending 98% of my time worrying and thinking about what everyone else is thinking about me. It is probably the most unnecessary, most time consuming and time wasting thing you and I do. Why should the opinion of some else define how you feel about yourself when in fact, everyone else is so focused on their own worries about the opinions of others? It is a circle of self destruction that has to stop.

We are human beings, obviously, and we want other people to like us. It's basic. It's normal. But when we feel anxiety because of a possible view some might have on us or we put pressure on ourselves because others might judge us, we can obsess over this need for acceptance. It's brutal.

Every so often, I get into a rut. I walk down a street or through the main walkway at university and all of a sudden, I am totally aware of how I walk, how I am dressed, what my hair looks like, my facial expressions etc. and I become paranoid that I look ugly and ridiculous. And when I talk to someone, whether it's a friend or a stranger, I get worried that they'll think I'm stupid or boring and whether I am worth their time.

Don't worry, I don't feel like this all the time. I have days where I feel slim and stylish and totally sociable and charismatic. But occasionally, I'll go through a bit of a self conscious phase and I obsess over my appearance, what I wear and how I act around people.

I feel everyone goes through these crappy phases. Whether it's hormonal of just our fluctuating self esteems, lets all agree that we can all feel like shit and that's totally normal. Back to my first point, I am sick of worrying about other people's judgments. I, like the rest of the world, have moments where I feel gross about myself but if we stop obsessing over what other people think, we won't feel self conscious as often which will lighten the pressure we put on ourselves.

If you can relate to any of this (if it makes sense that is), I have some advice and tips.

1. Have a mantra that you can repeat to yourself in mirror before work/school and when you feel self conscious. Say and think something like, "I am beautiful the way I am".

2. Meditate. Not only is it incredibly relaxing, it eases stress and clears your mind of negative thoughts.

3. When you are in a place full of people, stop and actually have a look at what people are doing. You haven't got millions of eyes on you and chances are everyone is focused on their own stuff. When you do see someone looking at you, smile at them. They might smile back; hopefully!

4. Get outside of that warm, fuzzy comfort zone that we all love. If you are shy, try smiling at someone. If the thought of wearing no makeup makes you feel sick, try not wearing any and realise it doesn't matter. If you aren't confident around a large group of people, try speaking up in class more. Little changes can be uncomfortable at first but totally worth it.

5. And lastly, remember that most people are feeling the same way. So talk to someone! Or remind yourself that you are unique and that a person's opinion of you should not define you.

Lets be more free and adventurous! Screw the pressure to be "perfect" and screw judgmental people. Live your life for you and only you and have fun.

Xxx