My first day of uni: A bloody disaster.

After feeling pretty nervous about uni for the past few weeks, last night I was starting to get excited. I woke up this morning still nervous but ready to go. I raced out the door, got into my car and drove to the University of Tasmania and parked my car.

Where do I start…

I first realised that I had forgotten to bring any sort of paper or writing pad and had no pens. Shit. I'm always pretty organised so this annoyed me. I then found out that I had forgotten my weekly diary so I couldn't properly write down important dates. I hadn't even walked through the main gates.

Here is where the disaster began. In Hobart, Tasmania, there is the main uni campus and then there are certain faculties throughout Hobart; like the medical faculty and the fine arts. They are further in town away from the main campus. I discovered 10 minutes before my first lecture that that particular lecture was on a different campus and funnily enough, on my timetable it wasn't clearly labelled that way. I panicked. I had no time to get to that lecture which meant I had 2 hours to kill all by myself in a new school I'd barely been to before and had nothing to do but wonder around aimlessly, trying not to look like a loner.

I then had to enrol is special tutorials which was stressful in itself but I was also really tense from the mornings disaster, I then had my second lecture which was an introduction to English. I got so overwhelmed by all the books we were told we were studying and all the assignments that are coming up, I swear I almost had a panic attack right there in the lecture room.

Lunch time rolled around and I was alone again. I found some people from my old college to hang with, even though I'm not to close with them. I was desperate!

I had my last lecture which was so much better because I met some people and I actually started to look forward to studying. But because of everything that had happened earlier, my confidence was at a low and my doubt crept in and has stayed there.

My first day has not been a positive experience at all and right now, I am stressed and anxious. Uni is meant to be the start of something new and wonderful and for me, it has been shit.

To all the people out there starting and new school or uni or job etc. and has had a terrible start, you are not alone! I now have doubt as to whether I am a functioning adult and I need to move on. I am now dreading the rest of the week and really, the rest of the year. Good times, hey? :D

Xxx

Getting your life into order.

Sometimes, you get to a stage in your life where you feel like you are doing a millions things at once. You think about everything that you have to get done in the next few weeks or you make so many plans that it all blurs into a haze. It's not always the big plans and the big events. For me at the moment, it's all the little things that I have to do and it stresses me out!

I can safely say that you can get all your shit into order very easily. What happens is that my brain fills up with everything that I have to do or organise and I can't see how it's all going to fit and how I will manage to not go insane.

Write a list. I swear by lists. They are my saving grace. It gets everything in your head onto paper and you can actually physically see what's happening and you realise that you can handle it. You may have a week where you need to write an assignment for school or uni, work a few shifts at your job, try to organise a party for the weekend while scheduling a few trips to the gym. You start to fill stressed and you over think. Stress is never the answer and you should never have to endure it. High stress is so bad for your health that it can eventually kill you and it sucks that we all feel it, some people on an everyday basis. I honestly try to avoid stress but if you're like me, I get anxious and stressed pretty easily and I have a few ways of dealing with it.

Exercise is a really good way for dealing with pent up stress and tension. You get blood flowing through your veins and you feel amazing, both emotionally and physically. If you don't like exercise (I don't blame you) then try yoga. Not only is it incredibly relaxing but you are doing exercise without realising it! Nothing wrong with that hey?

If none of these options work for you then I suggest talking to someone. You can get it all out of your head while having a supportive friend or relative to help you and give advice. Sometimes, all we need is someone to listen to us, especially us bitch and whine about the small things that bug us. Then, take a bath and put on a favourite movie and actually take time to stop and relax. We get so caught up in our busy lives that sometimes we forget to stop and breathe! Good luck :)

Xxx

Choosing What To Study at UNI

In Australia, students around are going through the process of deciding what they want to study at UNI and I am one of them. It is starting to freak me out because all of a sudden, I have to think about my future and what I want and seriously, I'm still unsure. If you are one of the many students freaking out because of UNI this year, trust me, you are not alone.

There are so many options. This sounds great on paper but in reality, it makes choosing subjects so hard. And if you're like me and the thought of going through the process of swapping subjects makes your skin crawl then this adds pressure and stress.

But guess what? All this pressure and stress is coming from one thing….me. I put so much pressure on myself to choose the 'right' subjects and it's ridiculous. If you are putting loads of pressure on yourself, take a moment and breathe. You are choosing subjects that could potentially result in a career, not choosing a career outright and guess what? It's totally fine not knowing what you want to do. In fact it's totally normal! I'm not an ambitious, career minded person so I am going to study subjects that I love and that I'm good at. I think thinking about a career is looking far to ahead in the future and is something we need to just let happen. I know I will have a great job in the future, I just need to be patient and have trust in myself that what I am doing is right.

I'm so nervous about starting UNI because I am starting school all over again. I won't know a whole lot of people, I don't know the campus at all, the teachers are strangers and subjects at UNI are so different to highschool. But I think this change and these new challenges are going to be good for me and help me grow up a bit.

If you are starting a new school this year; whether it be UNI or high school, remember that new changes and new faces may be totally scary and nerve racking but also a chance to really challenge yourself and change for the better. You may gain friends and confidence or a great new outlook on life. This is a scary beginning but it will be to ally worth it. Good luck!

Xxx

Christmas!

It's Christmas night and I have had a pretty great Christmas this year! My absolute favourite thing about this time of year is the fact that you get to spend the day with family that you hardly see throughout the year. It is such a magical time and only happens once a year which makes it special. Since I live in Australia, it is summer and today was a beautiful day (we even went swimming). There are however the really crap parts of Christmas too that we all have to put up with but you shouldn't dwell on those things because the great and magical aspects if Christmas outweigh the shitty parts. This is how my Christmas went….

My sister and I got out of bed at 5:15am (I will mention I am 19 years old) and opened all our presents. Is there any better feeling then receiving and giving presents? We then got ready and headed over to spend lunch with my mum's side of the family. It was outside, open, summery and really relaxed. I find it so easy to just chill and be myself around mum's side and we went swimming after lunch which was amazing. Although, you know how every single family has that one family member who you find really difficult or you just can't stand them? Well I have an aunt who is all this and then some. And guess who had to sit next to her during lunch? ME! But I took deep breaths, gritted my teeth and went to my happy place (by that, I mean start drinking). But never the less, when I spend Christmas with this side of the family, it is aways relaxed and embodies a traditional Australian summer Christmas which I love.

We then headed over to Dad's side of the family for dinner. Now, I've never really felt comfortable around this side of the family and I don't really know why. I think I'm just not as close to the family members as I am on Mum's side. For me, it's a very stereotypical Christmas that you hear people complain about all the time; feeling trapped in a room full of people you don't really want to be around, uncles cracking dirty jokes at the table, my aunt who did not shut up about herself for the whole time we were there and having the feeling like Christmas will never end.

But despite the bad parts of Christmas, it really is my favourite time of the year. When is there another time where having two servings of dessert acceptable, even expected? And the build up to Christmas is so exciting and magical and the best excuse to spend a day with family. Now, as I sit here bloated, lipstick smudged knotty hair from hairspray, I type this feeling drained, tired, and relieved it's over. I hope you all had an incredible Christmas and remember that the great experiences you have at Christmas will remain treasured memories all your life.

Xxx

Physical and emotional detox days.

You know when you wake up and just feel blah. For no real reason, you feel tired, sluggish, ugly and fat and are so not ready to take on the world. Maybe you have been working like crazy or have been pretty stressed and you feel tense and wound up.

This is when you need to do a physical and emotional detox and this is my little guide to refreshing your body and mind.



1. Food.
Today you need to keep your meals light, healthy but still super yummy. You need to get rid of the bloated feeling you have and feeling nice on the inside is the first step. Breakfast ideas include smoothies, bran and porridge. Also, drink plenty of water during the day to flush out toxins and add wedges of lemon to really cleanse your body. For lunch and dinner, stick to vegetables and foods that won't weigh you down and make you feel gross.

2. Exercise.
Get up and moving! Take a nice long walk to get plenty of oxygen to your organs as well as clearing your mind. Stretching, yoga and doing mini workouts feel amazing on days like these; plus you feel good about getting exercise which is aways a confidence boost!

3. Beauty.
There really is nothing like having a full bath or shower where you pamper yourself and do a thorough clean. Wash you hair using a clarifying shampoo, use a deep conditioner, shave your legs and under your arms (essential), cleanse your face, wash using a sweet smelling shower lotion and finish by moisturising your whole body. Voila! Clean, silky and smooth is the best feeling.

4. Environment
You can't possibly have a cleansing day if your house/bedroom is upside down and you feel trapped in mess! Tidy up, change your sheets on your bed, open all the windows for fresh air and even rearrange some furniture if you feel you need a change. If we are stuck in a boring routine or are living in the same boring space, you will feel bored on the inside too. Clean house equals a clean mind.

5. Entertainment
By this time, you are ready to settle down and have some serious YOU time. Pick up an all time favourite book, watch your classic movies (crappy chick flicks and rom-coms) and bunk down with your favourite TV show cast (mine are the girls from Sex and the City and the guys from Friends). I also suggest flipping through girly magazines or calling a friend and having good bitch about the world. All of these things allows you to really enjoy your time to yourself and if you have followed all the previous steps, you should be feeling cleansed and back to normal.

Let's face it, we all get to a stage where we feel tired, bloated, annoyed with life and generally sick of the normal routine we all fall into. Having a detox day is simply essential for survival. Not only do you need to detox your body, you have to cleanse your mind too. I know I'm in need of one of these days when I start to feel a bit self conscious and tense inside and my skin is breaking out. I also know If I need a detox if my tummy is bloated and I want go kill everyone at work!

Side note: the reason I posted this is obviously because I am need of one of these days!

Xxx

Why are we here?

So being a 19 year old girl, I think about life a lot.

Why are we here and what is it all for? What is the purpose of living? Are we wasting time? What time is there to waste?

Adults, right. They get up in the morning, go to work, come home, have dinner, go to bed and then do it all again the next day. Why? To earn money. But why? What will this lead to?

Happiness? No, plenty of millionaires suffer depression.
Fulfilment? No, otherwise why do we all want more than we have?

I clearly have a lot of questions. Sometimes, it's hard trying to work out what you want to do with your life when you really don't know why you are here in the first place. Being an atheist, I don't really believe in heaven and hell. Although I'm not completely ruling that out...

When we die, do we float up into the clouds and greet God at the gates? Are we dragged down into the fiery pits of hell? Are we re-incarnated into a goat or a fish or something? Or are we just reborn and the circle just continues and continues?

Are we here just to love? Everyone seeks a soul mate to spend their life with (well, most people do) and many want kids and grand kids etc. But is that what we are really here for? We have kids so then they can have kids so then they can too and it just continues?

I sometimes think about what happens when we die. But what I think about more is if I'll be remembered. That scares me more than anything; that I'll just become a grave stone that people walk past without giving a thought about who is under there. Compared to the amount of dead people on earth, the number of living people is so tiny. Yet we hardily know anything about our great-grandparents and their great-grandparents and our own personal history.

Scary stuff, hey? Maybe when we die, we discover what it is all for and that is the reward we get. And ghosts appear when the person isn't ready to be told.

Xxx

Beauty

Beauty. The one thing universally wished for. Most people in the western world wish for the stereotypical features that make someone "beautiful"; i.e. tall, slim, bright eyes, small nose, tan skin, big lips, beautiful luscious hair etc etc etc. But do these features really make someone beautiful?

Take Carrie from Sex and the City (Sarah Jessica Parker for all you non SATC fans). Her nose is huge, her eyes are too small, her face is long and skinny like a horse and her hair is crazy. Yet she is known for being so beautiful and stylish. And she is! I think she is stunning even though she possesses no typical features of beauty. So is beauty more than the bits and pieces we can see?

Of course it is. Beauty is so much more than the features you possess. It is the way you walk. The way you talk. Your presence, stride and the way you hold yourself. It's how you enhance your best features while accepting your flaws. And most importantly, its the person within that truly makes you beautiful.

Now when people say, "I never judge on appearances. Personality is the only thing I value", they are deluding themselves. It is natural for human beings to judge appearances as we do it sub-consciously all the time. And in order to be attracted to someone emotionally, you have to be attracted to them physically too. But when the physical attributes of a person outweighs their personality, then there is a problem.

I personally value beauty, both inside and out. Why not value both?! Both should be celebrated and cherished; especially since the inner beauty of someone can effect your perception of their outer beauty.

Xxx